In an era where leaders obsess over scale, automation, and performance metrics, one of the most powerful drivers of business growth remains widely misunderstood and dangerously underleveraged: relationships.
In a recent conversation, David Homan, author of Orchestrating Connection and founder of Orchestrated Connecting, offered a compelling reframing of what it actually means to build a network that drives results. His message is clear. Most leaders are not building communities. They are outsourcing them, neglecting them, or misunderstanding them entirely. It is costing them more than they realize.
Networking Is Not the Same as Connection
Homan’s journey began with a realization that many executives never reach. After years of following traditional networking advice such as sticking to familiar circles and connecting with like-minded professionals, he saw firsthand how fragile those networks became during moments of disruption like the 2008 financial crisis.
So he made a deliberate shift. Instead of staying comfortable, he entered rooms where he did not belong. These were spaces focused on causes outside his immediate business interests. There, he discovered a different kind of person. Connectors. These individuals did not just know people. They created ecosystems.
By building authentic relationships with these people, Homan did not just expand his network. He created interconnected communities that generated opportunity organically. His conclusion is simple: community outperforms networking every time.
The Leadership Blind Spot
One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is treating community as a task to delegate. Homan has seen CEOs walk into rooms full of their own stakeholders and realize they have no real relationships with anyone there. This happens because connection-building was handed off to someone else.
“Leaders need to talk to other leaders. You cannot outsource trust.”
The Cost of Neglected Relationships
To illustrate the stakes, Homan shared a story of a private equity executive responsible for dozens of major deals. When asked about his top five successes, a pattern emerged. Nearly all were facilitated by just two key relationships. Here is the problem: he had lost touch with one of them. That single oversight potentially cost him years of additional opportunities.
This is where many executives fail. They treat relationships as transactional rather than compounding assets. They invest when there is an immediate need. They disengage when there is not. The result is predictable. When opportunity appears, the relationship is no longer there to support it.
The Rise of the “Taker” Problem
Homan is blunt about another growing issue in professional ecosystems. Too many people approach relationships with a taking mindset. They ask for introductions without context. They request favors without effort. They show up only when they need something.
His solution is simple and effective: add friction. When someone asks for an introduction, require a thoughtful explanation of why they want the connection and what value they bring. Then, require follow-up after the introduction is made. Most people will not do it. That’s the point. This small filter separates intentional professionals from opportunistic ones. It protects your network and reinforces a culture of mutual respect.
Why Most Networks Produce No Real Value
Many executives believe they have strong networks. Homan disagrees. A large contact list is not a network. A LinkedIn connection is not a relationship. Visibility is not trust.
A real network is built on time, consistency, and reciprocity. It shows up in subtle ways.
- Who returns your calls quickly?
- Who takes your call when there is no immediate upside?
- Who continues to engage even when there is nothing to gain?
That is your real network. Everything else is noise.
The 25 Percent Rule
If relationships drive business outcomes, why do so few leaders prioritize them? Homan offers a clear benchmark. Leaders should invest at least 25 percent of their time in building and maintaining relationships. That includes strengthening existing connections, creating new ones without immediate intent, and staying present in key ecosystems.
Most leaders do the opposite. They focus on relationships only when they need something. By then, it is too late. As the saying goes, when you need a friend, it is already too late to make one.
Curiosity Is the Ultimate Differentiator
One of the most striking insights from Homan’s work is how rare genuine curiosity has become. Research cited in his book shows that in a typical professional setting, only three out of ten people will ask a meaningful question in return during a conversation. That means 70 percent of people are focused on themselves. In a world where most people are trying to impress, simply being curious makes you stand out immediately.
Building Trust at Scale
Early in his career, Homan built trust in the simplest way possible. He paid attention. He listened. He made thoughtful introductions. He did not have a large platform. He did not have a global network. He simply helped people.
Over time, those small actions compounded into a powerful ecosystem of trust. Today, that network spans thousands of founders, investors, and operators around the world. The lesson is clear. Trust does not scale through systems first. It scales through behavior.
A New Way to Measure Community Health
Most organizations measure success through revenue, performance metrics, and output. Homan argues that these are lagging indicators. The real question is different. Do people feel seen, heard, and valued?
Leaders who understand this create environments where people contribute more, innovate more, and stay longer. Leaders who ignore it rely on outdated models built on pressure and competition. In a world increasingly shaped by automation and AI, the advantage is shifting toward human connection. The organizations that understand this will outperform the ones that do not.
A Valuable Habit
If there is one practice that defines Homan’s philosophy, it is this. Honor the chain of connection. Every opportunity is the result of multiple people contributing along the way. Most professionals thank only the person closest to the outcome. Homan thanks everyone involved.
This does three things: it reinforces trust across the network, it strengthens relationships that others overlook, and it builds a reputation for integrity and awareness. It is also incredibly rare. That rarity is where the opportunity lies.
The Bottom Line
Most leaders are playing a short-term game with long-term assets. They chase transactions instead of building relationships. They delegate trust instead of earning it. They measure outputs instead of cultivating connection.
The leaders who win think differently. They invest in people before they need them. They prioritize curiosity over self-promotion. They build ecosystems instead of contact lists.